Sunday, September 20, 2015

Life Update...

(Wedding Day, New Jersey, 11/4/94)


Periodically, I realize that I haven't been blogging much. I am participating in the #teach180 tags on twitter, and that seems to be as much as I can handle for the moment.

The school year started out semi-great on August 24th. Sure I had 6 preps, but I had an awesome teacher friend that was teaching 2 of the preps with me (precalculus and Intro. to Engineering Design) and keeping me on track with planning and resources. Life was good. Then came Friday, 8/28/15. I was getting ready for my last class of the day and just starting them up, when our security officer came to my room to mention that I was needed in the office. Life has not been the same since. 




I was informed that my husband had died in a plane crash when he was practicing for the New York Air Show. He loved flying. He was great at flying. He was an awesome person. His plane broke while he was doing aerobatics. That weekend is still surreal. People came over off and on. A dear friend from DC came down to stay with me in TX for 9 days. His brother and family came from Canada as did my dad from California. I continued working that next week, so that I would have a break from the overwhelming nature of everything. Also, as teachers know, it is more work to be absent and make sub plans and copies and such than just to go in and dive in. Plus, did I mention the distractions and wonderful people I get to hang out with?

The time since then has been a blur and a balance of processing the horror and sadness and mixed emotions of how nice and compassionate and giving and loving everyone has been to me. And in addition, balancing school and doing right by my students. I'm so thankful I love my job and have people looking out for me and students being extra gentle and loving. I'm also thankful for friends that check in and let me ramble about the latest detail that I have to take care of to transfer things out of his name to my name.

I imagine it will be a long journey of getting used to this new reality. Maybe you never get used to it, you just live it. Andrew, I miss you.

Our trip to San Malo last spring break.

51 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know you, of course, but I wish you the best and hope for some healing and peace over the coming months.

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  2. MTM, I feel as if I know you from your blogs, and I am stunned at your loss. I too, wish you all the best. -- Karyn Voldstad, CA

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  3. You have been in my thoughts so much this month, Shireen. I hope you have been feeling the virtual love I've been sending,
    And thank you for reminding me to hug Mr Craig a little bit tighter today.

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    1. Please hug him extra hard.

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  4. So sorry to hear this news. Hoping your sharing was cathartic, and that you get some ease from your pain in the near future.

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  5. I am so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine. You are in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you for your kindness, JFairbanks.

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  6. I am so very sorry your loss.

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  7. I am so sorry. I remember you talking about your husband's flying the day we spent together in NYC and how you were looking forward to meeting him and flying home. My heart is breaking for you.

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  8. Shireen,
    So very sorry for your loss. Teaching has gotten me through some horrible times,too. I pray for your peace and healing in the days to come.

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  9. I'm so sorry. I read this and started crying. I can't imagine. So many vibes being sent your way.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sam. I am so grateful for the vibes.

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  10. Have followed your blog for a long time. Praying for you in your loss.

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  11. Shireen. I'm so sorry for your loss. May friends and family and students and colleagues continue to surround you with love and support and embrace you with wonderful memories of Andrew.

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  12. I am sorry for your loss. Life works in mysterious ways. I pray that you heal much as possible.

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  13. I am so so sorry to hear this news. You are in my prayers.

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  14. I am so so sorry to hear this news. You are in my prayers.

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  15. So sorry for your loss, Shireen. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time.

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  16. So sorry for your loss, Shireen. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time.

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  17. I am saddened by your loss. I don't know you, but enjoy your blog, and my thought are with tonight.

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  18. My thoughts and prayers are with you. So sorry for your horrible loss.

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  19. I pray peace and comfort for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your pain with us.

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and good energy your way!

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  21. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and good energy your way!

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    Replies
    1. I appreciate the love and good energy, Jasmine.

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  22. Someone once said that it is helpful to think of your grief and tears as a bucket. When it first happens, the bucket overflows several times a day. Over time, you have to empty the bucket less often, but you still have to empty it. Take good care of yourself. Don't be hard on yourself for what you did or didn't do. Go do something you really enjoy or something totally new. Watch movies that make you cry. Watch movies that make you laugh. Find someone you can talk to. Buy yourself flowers. Know that whatever you're feeling is ok. And... remember to empty your bucket.

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    1. Thanks, Jennifer. I'd never heard that, but it's lovely and a nice visual. There are many buckets so far, so I look forward to the time when there are fewer.

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  23. Replies
    1. Thanks, Andy. He WAS a great guy.

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  24. Heartbroken reading your post today....I am so terribly sorry for your loss. If there is anything we can do to help you with planning or anything with school, please reach out. You have a team behind you here who is ready to lend a helping hand.

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  25. Thank you Mrs. G. It helps just being surrounded by caring people.

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  26. B. in California1:39 PM

    What a terrible shock to read about your loss. I hope and pray you can find whatever peace is possible in the days ahead. I will keep you in my thoughts.

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  27. Shireen - I am so behind in my reader that I just read your post and I am so very, very sad for you. We've never met, but I've always heard your voice loud and clear through your writing - enthusiastic and generous.

    There are no words that are adequate; just that I hope that peace finds you soon. Just know that there are people thinking about you. - Wendy Menard

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  28. Thank you, Wendy. It really does help to be surrounded by such generous people.

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  29. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I, too, feel like I know you since I follow and LOVE your blog so much! I mention you often to my classes (because I steal LOTS of your ideas). Take care and I wish you peace in this awful time. Sincerely, Carrie Daly, Pecatonica Illinois

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  30. Thank you, Carrie, for all your kindness.

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  31. Carla Trujillo11:43 AM

    I just read about this last night and kept thinking about you. I am so sorry for your loss. Teaching will definitely be your refuge. I hope your students are extra good to you this year.

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  32. Thank you Carla for your thoughts. I am super sad in waves when I don't have teaching to distract me. But luckily, the goofy kids make me smile for the most part.

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  33. Anonymous3:42 PM

    Hi - this is my 20th year of teaching, 14 at HS level. Teaching Geometry and looking for things online. Up comes your blog, first time today....You have such enthusiasm and I like hearing your ideas. Then I came upon this entry and I am just so sad to read of this. I know it's been a few months, but I'm sure the sadness is still there. I hope you are having a good school year. God bless you in your first year of loss.

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  34. Thank you so much for your kindness.

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